The Best of Both Worlds

I don’t know which those two worlds are supposed to be–it’s one of those expressions that always mystified me, even as I’ve used it from time to time.  I suppose it’s about context, like most things.  In my own current context, I would rephrase it slightly: The worst of both worlds.  STOP!  I know what you’re thinking — “Here she goes, whining again” —  But I’m not.  I’m just saying…

I had to laugh.  Sometimes you do just have to laugh, when hysterics aren’t helpful.  What happened was, I got a phone call from a guy at a delivery company (one of several such companies with which I am developing a familiar relationship — okay, reputation —  over the phone).  In this instance the caller was checking to see if there would be room for his delivery truck to get the container it was carrying into a suitable position.  “Yes, indeed,” I was able to reply.  “It can simply back up to the container that is already parked outside my front door, and be unloaded into that container.”

“Oh!” says he.  “That’s handy.  I’ve never encountered that before.”  (Silly brute.  Of course you haven’t.  Who else would have a container to have a container-load delivered to?)

“By the by,” I asked, “how much room in the container is this load going to take up?”  (I already knew I would be acquiring a second container before the renovations are finished.  Or even started.)

“About three-quarters,”  he replied.  I’m sooo glad he couldn’t see the blood drain from my face.  It wasn’t a good look.  So I’m thinking three containers.  That will make a slightly larger problem, trying to park them outside my front door.  A couple of them will probably have to go to (son) Adam’s property earlier than planned.  This place already looks like a branch office of the Cosmic Cupboard.

I should explain how I come to have 3/4 of a container to store that I didn’t have before.  Online auctions.  There.  I’ve said it.  That’s all I’m gonna say.  By the way, there is no such thing as Online Auctions Anonymous.  Forget anonymous… the auction houses always know where to find you.  It doesn’t help to change your email address either.  But you need not worry about me.  I’m over it. Truly I am. It was fun for a while, but now my focus has shifted to finding a place for everything.  I have well and truly learned my lesson.

Hey, I gotta dash.  I need to find an online auction that has a job-lot of heavy duty padlocks.            MM